To be a man

I've been thinking alot about what it means to be a man. Not physically, but in essence. It seems that to be a man cannot simply mean that one is not a woman. Also it must mean more than one is a person. In other words the characteristics that define masculinity must be unique but not in simple contrast.

There are a lot of cultural definitions of manhood which are not very helpful. Our culture tells us that men are to be emotionless (which seen as a strength), womanizing lone rangers. Another part of our culture tries to simply make men into women, the gentler sex. While I have nothing against women, this seems misguided and troublesome. A man must know that he is a man, he must be affirmed in his masculinity.

Many cultures have rites of passage, a special point after which one is no longer a boy, but is man. The American culture lacks such milestones. Some define the passage into adulthood when they start driving, graduate high school or college, have their first beer, get their first 'real' job, have sex, etc... Many of these could serve as rites of passage but they don't seem to be thought of as such by much of the culture. Others might lead to a misunderstanding of adulthood.

As I've thought about it here are some things that I have come to regard as unique characteristics of man. Again this is not to say women don't or shouldn't espouse these characteristics only that they help me define what it means to be a man. The first is seeing life with a sense of adventure. The second is putting others ahead of self to the point of personal sacrifice. The third is having short hair. Just kidding about that last one.

I'd like to hear the thoughts of others on this issue.